Sunday, 20 February 2011

Because It's Mine!

Raina sat in her seat staring out the window, the voice of her teacher fading further away from her; the only sound she could barely hear was the drumming of her own fingers against her desk and the music playing in her ears. Looking out towards the sun, her eyes fluttered, she could not only feel the heat on her skin but she watched as the sun streamed into the class and she felt warm. She kept drumming her fingers as she listened to the song play, it calmed her, the soft voice singing to her ‘right here where I want to be’ and listening to it she became lost in her own world, a small smile playing across her lips.
Raina turned her head back towards the class and watched as the teacher walked back and forth slowly in front of the board and just barely noticed Lizan, a classmate, staring at her. Lizan smiled as she realised Raina had noticed her staring, her own fingers drumming against the edge of the desk, then Lizan turned back round towards the teacher. Pulled out of her reverie, Raina looked up as she heard the bell ring signalling the end of class, rising slowly Raina got up to leave the room.
Raina continued to walk out the class with her head down deep in thought, not seeing the many people walking past her or the few she bumped into, but hearing someone apologise Raina looked up to see Brien stood before her. After apologising Brien then moved and walked towards his girlfriend Mersan, she was leant against a locker looking as though she was as lost in her own world as Raina had been and how Lizan had seemed to be too. Mersan catching eyes with Raina paused briefly, but then she suddenly smiled, Raina felt as though she saw the same empty smile she had seen from Lizan and had a feeling that it wouldn’t be the last she’d see. 
Anna was the first one to get out of the class door; she just didn’t want to get caught by her teacher again because she knew it would be the usual lecture about her falling grades in every subject.  She knew he would say to her ‘you’re most likely get not going to make it to the end of the year.’ Anna laughed as she thought to herself, as if I didn’t already know that and what’s worse was that she didn’t care, she just kept running towards the stairs of the hallway.
 Anna ran down the stairs that led her to the field, few people were already sat with their lunches, as she stood outside she let her head tilt back to look up at the sky and took a deep breath. It was such a beautiful day Anna thought as she felt the heat of the sun against her skin, and the way the clouds spiralled around in the bright blue sky had Anna feeling as though she just wanted to spin round and round too and soak in the sun with everything else blurring away.
Not realising it but Anna started spinning round and round, smiling and laughing to herself the faster she spun and she felt like a child again as the excitement ran through her. Anna’s head still tilted back staring up at the sky she was so lost that she bumped into someone and almost fell but felt soft hands straighten her. Tilting her head away from the sun she still couldn’t see who it was as her eyes were swimming, the sun having left her eyes starry, but still Anna apologized and the girl she had bumped into just chuckled and said ‘It’s okay just be careful next time.’ That was nice Anna thought to herself as she ran off to her spot in the field, where her friends had been sitting and she went to lay down beside them.
After Mersan had straightened the girl she’d bumped into she walked across the large field to her friends who sat on and next to the crumbling walls, and these walls were further enough away from every other building that they felt comfortable. The sight of that wall was like home to her, the familiar art on the decaying wall staring right at her really did remind her of her home and by that wall, though not for long was a short escape for them. It was an escape from other students and teachers who constantly judged and accused them of things they’d never done, most of the time she thought smirking. Mersan knew that they were treated that way because of what their parents had to do for a living and because of where they lived, as if they’d had any choice.
I had left Brien with his friends because he preferred to sit with them as did I with mine, we were two different people with friends that we knew would never appreciate each other, though Brien would always chuckle and say ‘There’s no harm in trying to bring them together Mersan’. The people here thought of us as odd, Brien’s a nice guy who is always willing to help, and so popular that he could be with anyone but me I was the opposite of him. They’re all scared of me I thought with a small smile, but I didn’t think that it was fun in any way especially if even looking around nobody will meet my eyes and greet me with a smile. Because of the things I’ve done and the things I will inevitably do because it is who I am, means that I will never really feel wanted, but the truth is that sometimes even I’m afraid of myself and what I could do.
Honestly, this place was my getaway even before I found Brien, because here I didn’t have to be the Mersan who hurt people or do things I shouldn’t be doing. Here in this field, in those buildings, I am the part of me who wants to be someone, so I work hard and I concentrate while keeping to myself. But even though I try, my name just isn’t one easily forgotten and they can’t accept that I’m trying to be different here, that I want to do better for myself, how can someone so young already be confined to a life without escape?
Brien, he changed everything, he opened my eyes and showed me that I can still be loved and cared for; he said that he would be the first one to show me and he would not be the only or the last. Then I wake up every morning and I know Brien is my perfect but that he’s just a dream and he would leave me almost as suddenly as he had come. Do I ever want to wake up and go back to what my life really is?
Lizan searched everywhere trying to find someone, anyone that she could talk to honestly and feel no judgement. Yes, Lizan knew a lot of people and could be considered as popular but in the worst way, so many guys wanted to get to know her in the way that she didn’t want, and the girls never accepted her. They hated her so much and created a reputation of her being a prostitute, and there was nothing she could do to make them believe otherwise because her mom really was and that even left the guys chasing after her insulting her. Lizan always fought with people when they bought up her mom, when they talked of her disrespectfully, because her mother did what she did to protect her family and to feed them and these people would insult her as if they understood the pain she went through. But whatever they’d say about Lizan she wouldn’t even lift a finger to stand up for herself, she never felt the same head pounding anger she felt for her mother sake but would just feel despair.
Lizan never knew how to fight and she wasn’t good at fighting like Mersan who had a worse reputation than her own, but Lizan had to learn from the times she’d had to protect herself from all those people. Lizan held her shoulder tightly and felt the bruise swelling, squeezing her eyes closed she held back the tears of pain, the pain was not from her shoulder, or from what had just happened but because though she knew many people there was no one she could talk to. Lizan kept walking through the empty hallway, seeing a few people turn into the hallway she let fall her hand holding onto her shoulder and put on a smile. That was when Lizan knew she couldn’t take it anymore and that this was it.
Vana took a deep breath as she leant her head against the seat, squinting she stared at the sun and slowly skimmed her tongue across her top lip, letting out a sigh as she felt the sun heat her skin. Vana put her shades back on and started the car and with one hand on the wheel she throttled towards the general direction of a road, the hood of the car down gave way for the dust to scatter into the car. Vana wasn’t bothered by it and just kept going, with the heat beating down on her she put one knee on the wheel and took off her top, feeling instantly cooler in the vest top, then she grabbed the wheel again.
Vana put her hand through her hair as she tried to remember where she was as school would be ending soon and she should’ve been there hours ago as she was a new student in school but she wasn’t worried at all, she thought she would probably leave soon again. Finally remembering the way she got to the school entrance twenty minutes before it would finish, she thought to herself I guess I missed class while getting out of her car.
Raina ran out from the girl’s toilets pulling the door so hard that it crashed against the wall behind her as she ran towards the stairs and ran up them, her feet stomping as she went as fast as she could. Her breath coming short, her heart racing, hands swinging back and forth bruising every time she slammed them to the railings but she kept going not even the burn in her legs deterring her. She got to the top and threw the door open smashing it backwards then leant forwards hands on her knees hair falling on to the side of her face, her breath wheezing.
Vana looked up at the school building from where she stood next to her car and at the top of the building she saw a tall beautiful girl stood there. Squinting upwards she kept her eyes on the girl on the roof and in turn the girl also looked down at Vana and she felt something as they both watched each other. Vana brought her eyes back down to shake her head of the dizziness and heat from the sun still beating down on her and as she began turning her head back up again it skimmed past the classes still going on, with the blistering heat some sleeping on their desks she kept slowly moving her head up then she saw a girl running up the stairs, but kept her eyes moving upwards. With the sun still beating down on her she leant against her car, sweat sliding between the v of her neck yet she kept turning her head back up to the girl having to squint her eyes and finally they reached her but her expression hidden from Vana by the gust of sudden wind blowing her hair in front of her. Raina lifted her head straightening back up but having to lean heavily on the door; Raina looked her straight in the eye questioning her motives, why was she here? What was she doing? Raina only knew she was here because she had seen her from the reflection of the mirrors in the toilet. She had turned around because she was startled by the sound of the door banging when Raina had come bursting through, Raina seeing her frightened expression took a step forward but Raina watched as she quickly took one back. ‘Please...’ Raina pleaded to her, her voice desperate as she held out her hand for her to take but she took another step back, she’s going to jump Raina thought as she saw the resolve in the hardening of the other girl’s face. Raina ran as fast as she could towards her but there was too much distance between the two of them and she had already stepped on to the ledge and Raina knew she would not get to her but still she ran and she watched Raina as she whispered back ‘I can’t do this anymore’ and then she began falling backwards. Still Raina ran fast to her not hearing her whisper and reached the railings and seeing her fall pleaded, ‘Lizan no!’.
Vana began moving her hand towards the car door slowly unaware that just behind her shoulder the girl was falling, the sun still beating Lizan looked up at the sky her hand above her, she wanted to touch the sky she thought as her hair wavered with her arms. Raina looked down leaning over the railing tears springing as she watched Lizan falling and there was nothing she could do as her torso collapsed against the inner railing because she could no longer stand.
Mersan on her table asleep looked up and saw the girl she had bumped into stare out the window profusely, she was moved into her class recently and always stared out the window but this time her expression was one of confusion. I turned my head still on the desk with my arms and hair all over and looked sidelong out the window and saw a girl leaning over the railing with her hair billowing around her Mersan then began closing her eyes again when she noticed the falling girl and widened her eyes. Anna kept staring confused was she having another dream, the dream where she always jumped into the sky but why was she seeing it differently? Anna thought to herself, why am I dreaming it like this?
Lizan’s whole body jarred as she crashed into a dumpster and lay unmoving. The dumpster someone close by had thrown towards her as he saw her coming down but was now on his knees wheezing, staring at the dumpster with his hair in his eyes. Raina’s eyes widened but still she didn’t move staring straight down at Lizan’s unmoving body and her own arms frozen as they dangled between the railings. Mersan and Anna jumped out of their seats as soon as Lizan hit the bags and ran towards the door out the class to get their as fast as they could, leaving behind the sound of their teacher shouting after them. Vana turned her head back around as soon as she heard the sound of the impact and ran towards it but she stopped short and turned to look at the strange man on his knees they both stared at each other wary still he was wheezing trying to catch his breath, Vana turned back to the dumpster unable to see anything inside it but still walked slowly towards it.
Lizan opened her eyes and looked around moaning at the sudden pain, then felt  something wet hit her check and then again as a light patter of rain started although the sun was still beating down heating her. Lizan looked around her and saw that she was surrounded by a black wall and felt the plastic against her chafing her skin, then she looked up and saw Raina still there and started to lift her arms towards the edge of the wall as she did the soft bedding beneath her tipped sideways and she splayed onto the floor with dozens of green and black plastic bags falling beside her and slowly looking up she saw two strangers watch her though they seemed familiar.
 Lizan got up slowly and swayed on her feet as she felt dizzy and looked at the two and they watched each other, Lizan could barely stand but straightened herself anyway and walked right past them. She didn’t want to think about who they were and the way they looked at her she just wanted to go home.  As she reached the gate a strong hand gripped her arm and pain shot through her, she turned to see the strange man who seemed so familiar, he was saying something to her but she couldn’t hear him or understand she just looked at him then at her arm and he quickly let go. Lizan glimpsed the girl from over his shoulder and they’re eyes caught there was something in the way that girl looked at her but Lizan just turned back towards the gate and kept going. But as she walked in that direction she walked straight into two girls gasping for breath and staring at her hard, one of them looked at her as though she were not real as if she was dreaming this and the other looked at her as though she wanted to hit her and Lizan could no longer stand there so she walked right past them too, though the angry looking girl tried to follow her she was too out of breath to grab her.
Lizan walked for miles the light patter of rain gone as suddenly as it had come, in the blistering heat sweat began dripping from her head down to her chest and her breath coming out rugged as she kept walking towards her home and her feet just barely getting her there. In the distance Lizan could see her home, though her legs felt as though they would give out under her Lizan ran the rest of the way towards it and gasping she finally got to the bungalow but she just leaned her back against the wall outside. Panting for breath Lizan looked around at the other houses, they all looked the same as hers as if they were about to fall apart and she chuckled then turned and walked into her home.
Lizan kicked the door shut behind her and looked at her front room the red colour of it blurring her eyes and the huge bed in the middle of the room inviting her in, she looked at the cushions and pillows as they seduced her to walk forward pausing she looked at the bed with disgust remembering what her mother used that bed for. She looked at it then walked to the kitchen which was very small and which fit a small round table and two chairs, Lizan went to the fridge and it was empty as usual except for a couple of bottles so she took out a bottle of bud and popped the lid off and leaned against the fridge and it felt cool on her tight back, there’s going to be bruises she thought to herself but it was nothing new even if there weren’t any someone would surely give it to her.
She walked out of the kitchen and went to the bathroom which was also small but clean she put her bottle on the sink and pulled down her skirt to use the toilet. When she left the bathroom she took a swig out of her bottle as she went to her room, the only room in the house which she used to share with her two little brothers but not anymore. She stood next to the door looking around and everywhere she looked it reminded her of her baby brothers, Lizan knew they weren’t happy and she couldn’t take it anymore, she wanted them back. Lizan's dad left them when she was young but even when he was with them she didn’t have any good memories just those of him hurting them. Then he came back and took her brothers and both Lizan and her mom couldn’t get them back because he would use force against them, but this forced Lizan to think maybe this was best for them because her dad could afford to take care of them were as her mom barely had a penny in her pocket from the one job she could keep.
She walked out of the room and went to the garden, sitting on the steps outside she gulped down what was left of her drink and got lost in her own world for the second time that day for what felt like hours but was then startled when she heard the front door open. Lizan got up and went to the kitchen to see who it was and was about to walk in to the front room but saw that her mom had bought someone home with her and he was on top of her and they were leaning into the bed. Lizan turned and went to her room the pain in her body throbbing and constant she took of all her clothes and walked to her mirror to see how bad it was, her whole body was sore, bruised and red but strangely enough she didn’t feel it as much as she should have. Looking in the mirror she thought of how everyone called her beautiful and perfect and even her mother who also said so enviously but looking in the mirror all Lizan saw was a broken body she thought of herself as disgusting and saw nothing perfect in it. She walked to her bed and grabbed a shirt from the chair putting it on with the faint sounds of her mom and client coming through the door; she crawled on her bed and lay on her side tears finally began to spill as she looked out the window away from the door and remembered the feel of the wind through her hair as was falling. 
Lizan woke suddenly feeling soft fingers begin to rub her swollen ankle going upwards then gripping her shoulder gently, Lizan closed her eyes again then whispered ‘Mom what are you doing?’ Her mother bought her head round to face her daughter and said ‘You hurt yourself again sweetie.’ Concern showing in her eyes ‘I wish you hadn’t gotten into a fight today,’ Lizan puzzled looked at her ‘Sweetie we need to talk.’ Again Lizan looked into her eyes and saw the concern gone and asked ‘Why? What for?’ her mother then kissed her lightly on the nose and Lizan turned to lie on her back gasped a little as the pressure shocked her and her mother cradle her in her arms as she lay beside her, Lizan looked up at her mom and she loved her but inside she had a greater feeling of emptiness.
Lizan looked at her mom and knew that something big was going to happen so asked ‘What’s wrong?’ Her mother replied ‘I want my baby boys back.’ Lizan looked away as she knew her eyes showed that she had been crying and her mother knew the only thing that made her cry. But Lizan was confused and replied ‘We can’t bring them back.... you know that we’ve already tried, so many times. And besides that we can’t even afford to have them back, we could barely take care of them when they were here.’ Her mom looked at her and smiled soothingly and lay Lizan’s head in her lap ‘This time it’ll be different, you’ll see’. But her face changed and I knew everything would change now and it would be wrong. Someone coughed at the door and I quickly sat up turning my head to look and saw the man from earlier with a cigarette in his mouth and I stiffened but mom grabbed my hands and said ‘Sweetheart its okay there’s something I want to tell you.’ He looked at me and walked closer to the bed, and he looked different from the others he was a wearing a suit and his hair was immaculately cut. Lizan glanced at her mother then he spoke saying ‘If you work with me for a few weeks you could help your mom get enough money to take care of your brothers and I can help bring them home.’ Mom touched my shoulder and said to me ‘Please honey just for a few weeks and that’s it for both of us I promise’. I looked at her and I didn’t know what to say and I wished that jump had killed me.
The man smiled at me and took a drag from his cig waiting for my reply; I had nothing to say to him, but I closed my eyes and I knew what I was going to do. My body ached but still I got off the bed and stood in front of him ‘I’ll work for you,’ She knew there was no arguing with her mom once she had made up her mind and Lizan had already made up her mind that she was ready to do anything to get them back. She looked at him and took the only chance she knew she’d get and said ‘I have conditions; I want to get paid triple what she does.’ They stared at each other for a long time and then finally he replied ‘You start working for me as soon as you’re ready....’ Lizan’s mind went blank at his reply her head tuning everything out as she thought to herself what she had just got herself into.
The man kept talking ‘....but you won’t get paid triple yet because your body right now is not worth that.’ He said pointing at the marks and bruising that showed from her arms and legs and Lizan noticed that he did not ask about had she had gotten them. I was still silent so my mom answered him ‘She’ll start working for you in two days for the same price but next week its triple’. They spoke of her as if she wasn’t there as if she were a doll for bargaining, so she tuned it all out and finally he nodded and they both left Lizan in her room, a minute later she heard them both leave the house.
Mersan kept running her breath coming short, she could hear their yells behind her as she turned around seeing them trying to catch up with her and then she started to laugh as she turned back round to her friends still running ahead. Brien had slowed down and he too began laughing with his hand outstretched towards her and she ran faster to catch up and grabbed his hand feeling the warmth instantly. They ran leaving those people behind them, running to a place were they could all hide, a warehouse in the deserted part of their areas, they all got to the warehouse out of breath except for Brien because running was something he was good at, I smiled as I thought to myself but come to think of it I should be good at it too. As Brien would joke that I’m always running away from someone or the other and I started laughing and yelped as Brien suddenly threw me over his shoulder and ran up the warehouse stairs with me and I yelped again smacking him on his back laughing as well and so was he.
It was three in the morning and we were still at the warehouse, I was sat down playing the guitar and it was relaxing, almost everyone had fallen asleep, it had been a long day for them. Though I was only just getting up I had things to do but Brien was still here and he knew I was getting antsy except he didn’t know why but he took it to mean something else and whispered to me ‘Sweetheart I’ll take you home we’ve got to get back anyway.’ I replied ‘Okay, just let me get my things.’ But I wasn’t planning on staying home when I got there and he didn’t need to know that. We both got up and told everyone we’d see them soon then we left; Brien drove me home and got out of the car to help me in through my window. Once I got through my window I turned and kissed him but he didn’t move to go the way he usually did but lingered his hands on my waist, I asked him ‘What’s wrong?’ and he looked at me his brows furrowed ‘You going to be okay while I’m gone?’ he said this as he stared at my bedroom door as if expecting someone to walk in right then. I looked at him smiling and I thought to myself he knows I’m up to something but then he just looked back and said ‘Just please don’t do anything dangerous okay.’ Then he kissed me again then jumped off the ledge landing on the grass softly and I watched him get in his car and go.
As soon as he left I dropped all my things in my bedroom and went to my wardrobe and took out a hammer and a pocket knife I had hidden there and then grabbed my phone that I had left on charge for the night and a piece of paper from my desk putting the hammer inside my belt the pocket knife in my boot and the rest in my pockets. I looked around my room to see if there was anything else I would want to take, briefly my eyes lingered at the door then shaking my head I went to the window and jumped out of from the second story for the second time that night and hit the floor. I straightened myself and looked around to make sure nobody saw then chuckled as I knew that where I lived with all the run down houses I was the least of anyone’s worries. I quickly went to the garage and ran to get my dad’s motorbike but before starting the ignition I looked at the address scribbled on the paper and thought of the quickest route to get there. When I got there I called the number from the paper and after two rings the phone was answered ‘Hey I’m here you can come out now.’
There was a whispered reply and a minute later a small face pulled the curtain from the window, I got off my bike and walked towards the window and the girl put her head out the window and said ‘I can’t get out near the doorway they’ll see.’ I looked at her exasperated ‘You can jump, and don’t worry I’ll catch you.’ she shook her head ‘No. Are you crazy? I’m scared of heights okay so just give me ten minutes.’ I really was not bothered to wait ten minutes so I replied ‘No get your ass down here now Nica! I said I’ll catch you, now jump.’ Nica quickly looked back then turned to Mersan and squeezing her eyes shut she jumped with Mersan catching her but they both fell back with Nica landing on Mersan. Gasping Mersan pushed Nica off her and got up whispering to Nica roughly ‘Next time wait outside!’ and she replied sorry and laughed. ‘We better go, or were going to be late’. They both got on the bike and Mersan rode them to a rusty bridge stopping her bike near by it, Mersan turned to the bridge and thought that rusty bridge looked almost black in the night. Mersan and Nica got off the bike and went to the edge of the road which showed a drop going further below the bridge, and then they waited and waited.
While they were waiting Mersan let herself finally think about the girl that had jumped off the ledge earlier that day whose name she didn’t remember and thought about why she kept thinking about her; what she had done and of how brave she was for doing it. Mersan knew that every time she had tried she just couldn’t do it and couldn’t understand why, but what she did understand was that she and that girl had something in common they grew up unwanted and they still felt it. Then she wondered about what would have pushed her to it and didn’t think that it had anything do with the rumours of prostitution about her. Mersan had watched her protect her family from it, hurting anyone who tried to hurt them; which would undoubtedly happen as the rumours didn’t start about her but her mom.  Mersan thought that she was a strong girl and this would not have been the cause, Mersan had met eyes with her more then once and never thought she was one of those especially as she saw and knew what real prostitutes were like, she was around them often enough. As she thought of them she saw a few prostitutes lingering on the bridge trying to stop cars driving by and Mersan chuckled to herself as she shook the thoughts from her and looked down under the bridge and saw people arrive, some her friends others not.
It was clear that the people that had gathered were distinctly from two separate groups, they began to spread facing the opposing group. Mersan and Nica soon followed behind as they came under the bridge striding towards their own group’s leader Mack and stood beside him and waited to see what would happen. Luke the other groups leader wasted no time and began the trash talk and it was blatant the only reason for it was to make himself look tough but his ramblings came to a stop as he soon realised that we were pissed and we weren’t going to let him go. Mersan knew why she was here because she was being there for a friend who was always there for her, she thought of Mack as she stood there but immediately began thinking of Brien. Mersan knew that he would find out eventually that she was still fighting even after she promised she wouldn’t and almost felt guilt, almost, but this is who she was and if he wouldn’t except it she wouldn’t tell him. She turned to Nica who stood beside her but she looked different, that was what was so great about her she wasn’t the girl who was scared to jump out the window anymore although she was scared now her face showed that she was ready for what was going to happen next.
Luke and his boys pulled out there weapons and we took out ours Mack next to me took out a crow bar he had hooked to the back of his jeans and I took out the hammer from my belt curious to see what Nica had. I turned to her and Nica next to me took off her belt and we both looked at each other with a glint in our eyes and these huge grins on our faces. Luke looked to Mack with a look of pity Mack looked at us all and said ‘Shall we show them how we do?’ And we grinned and rushed them. Some guy with a bat swung at me and I dodged hitting him across the face with my hammer breaking his teeth and he fell backwards bleeding I turned and hit the guy next to him in the stomach then kicked his face turning and swinging at Luke but he dodged and kicked me in the jaw hard and I fell backwards and that got me pissed but I saw Mack get him. Mack punched him in the face twice and got the single end of the crow bar and knocked him with it and I got up and ran to check on Nica then someone grabbed my hair and pulled me back I tried to shake the grip but my hair was still in her grip so I shoved the fork side of the hammer in her arm that held my hair and she slit my upper arm with her knife so I kicked her hard hearing her scream when I ripped my hammer out of her arm then ran towards Nica.
Nica used her belt to wrap around a guys knife and pulled it off him then began whipping him so hard that blood was splaying with every hit and his face almost unrecognisable. Drake called out to me I turned to him and he pointed at someone close to me and I saw that it was Luke kicking the crap out of Josh. I shouted to Mack ‘Get Luke now!’ and ran to Luke and josh as well and threw my hammer at Josh he caught it and whacked Luke’s leg I took out my pocket knife and went towards Josh but someone tripped me and I turned with my knife to see a guy with a crowbar as well try an hit me. I ducked but he hit me again in the stomach I made a sound and hit the ground, my thoughts? Well they were along the lines of what the hell! so I got back up dodged the next one and rushed him knocking him to the ground and stabbed his shoulder with my knife took it out then stabbed him again in his thigh.
I turned back to Josh and he was hitting someone with the hammer and Mack and Luke were having it out again then Mack threw his crowbar at someone who called him I couldn’t remember her name and she caught it and hit the guy with a bat but he got back up. I started running towards them and he hit her in the stomach with the bat and ducked her next hit then she used the forked bit aiming for his arm and scored so I stopped and turned around and saw that we had taken most of them down. Nicole was kicking the crap out of a girl with blood all over her face and Luke and Mack were still going at it but Mack had the upper and kicked him in the thigh knocking him down and I turned to look for Nica and saw her grabbed by two guys and ran towards her.
I jumped on one of them putting my knife in his stomach and I heard him howl and he had a hammer too using the blunt side he hit me in the head and I fell straight on my back and he jumped on me strangling me. Nica used her belt with the other one whipping him but he was good and he avoided her and threw his bat whacking her in the head. While she was falling she twisted and whacked her belt out towards his leg and it strapped on yanking it and he fell too but she got up fast and picked up his bat and hit him across the face with it. I was still down there so I got my knife and stabbed him again but he didn’t let go damn he was persistent so I put the knife against his throat instead pressing hard so he let go and I crouched quickly and lithely kicked him in the head and he went out cold well what could I say I have legs of steel. I got up and spat out the blood from my mouth and looked at Nica and she looked at me and started laughing then coughing and I smiled and looked at Mack and Josh they were standing but I didn’t bother looking at Nicola I didn’t want to see what she was doing.
Everyone on our side was still up, well most of them. Mack said to Luke loud enough for us all to hear ‘You don’t mess with my people ever or we will kill you do you understand?’ Luke looked up at him and replied ‘Yeah’ though defiantly but Mack let him. Luke and his people got up and left a lot of them limping and hanging off each other. Our group walked towards Mack a lot of us as well were leaning on each other and limping though they tried not to show it. Mack turned to look at us blood dripping from his mouth and said ‘Thanks guys, appreciate this.’ I started chuckling to myself but I felt as though I was going to drop from pain. I went to Mack and hugged him and said ‘Thanks for that.’ and he replied ‘For what I’m the one who’s doing the thanks.’ I replied chuckling ‘No I was beginning to wonder if I’d be sitting round idle for the rest of my life I feel like I just woke up from a really boring dream.’ he replied ‘Well I’m glad to have been of some help.’ He said laughing and clapping me on the back causing a fresh dose of pain.
I went to Josh to see if he was okay he was beat up pretty bad ‘Hey josh how you doing?’ he looked up at me then at the girl whose name I couldn’t remember then gave a tight smile trying to hide his hurt though it was obvious with all that blood dripping from his head ‘I’m just resting I’ll be fine always am.’ I chuckled and said ‘I’ll see you when I see you then and get yourself checked out okay.’ and went to get Nica ‘Lets go’ I put my arm around her waist and began guiding her to the bike I could tell that she was hurting although she didn’t show it we both started laughing and got on the bike. I dropped her off home this time she went in through the living room window, and me instead of going home I went back to the warehouse and got Maria to check me over and fix up the cut on my arm and forehead I was going to have a bad bruise on my jaw though and no small tops for a long time with the bruises coming out there then finally I really started to feel sore. Ha-ha school was starting in an hour and they wonder why I sleep during class.
Lizan woke up the next morning the night before dawning on her and that she had just sold herself, and she knew that no matter what anyone said that there was no way out, but she was doing it for her family so that they’d be together and she’d finally have the money and strength for it and maybe they would let her mom go and then everything would be okay, she hoped. She began to cry again clutching a picture she kept close to her of her and her family, all of them with smiling faces. She got dressed to go to school and as she walked she realised that they would be taking everything from her, controlling her, but she knew one thing, that she would be free even if it was only for a day and thought of one person who could help her.

Saturday, 23 October 2010

Sinister Strings

A window in a small house, in a small town open just slightly with a part in the curtain, a man sat in an old rocking chair listening intently seemingly relaxed but aware waiting for its approach as it silently began to fill the room, craving it yet fearing its presence. The sound so sweet fascinating him from the beginning and no doubt would until the end of the piece, yet it frightened the old man. The old man pursed his lips, his glasses slipped further onto the bridge of his nose; he cautiously turned his head towards the window. His eyes widened and he gasped trying to cover his ears, but he was too late. The old man dropped to the floor letting out an anguished cry still unable to cover his ears, the pull of the sound making him want to hear more, he began to claw his face instead trying to get it out of his head. 

Mike walked briskly to the third house down from his own towards Francis Bishop’s, the old man. He had, as they all said, began seeing things and it had gotten worse as he had tried to kill himself more than once and the constant yells during the night had most people scared of what he would be doing to himself. But Mike had known him a long time and he knew that it would take more than old age to make Francis crazy or even try to end his own life, but then mike began thinking of the rumours again and doubts began forming in his mind, he still owed it to Francis to be there for him before he left. It was inevitable that they would take him away. 
     
Mike walked to the door and grabbed the handle but the door began to open at his touch. He carefully stepped into the house wary of the door being open, the place was full of dust motes and with all the curtains closed the place looked as though it hadn’t been occupied in so long. Mike called Francis’s name but got no reply, so he warily walked up the stairs and saw that only one room door was closed so walked towards it. He didn’t know what he expected to see when he opened the door but he had a sick feeling as he did. He looked into the room and saw the old man huddled in the corner of the room sobbing as he held his arms around his knees.

Mike walked towards the old man noisily so that he would know that Mike was there with him as he sat beside Francis and he then put his arm round the old man’s frail shoulders, Francis lifted his head and held his sob but gently put his head back into his arms and began to cry softly. Mike hid his shock by rubbing Francis’s arm attempting to comfort a shivering Francis but the image of the old man’s scratched face would not leave him, it looked as though someone had tried to claw his face right off. Mike stared down at the old man who had always been like a father to him, like a grandfather to his only daughter and saw how much he had changed and thought someone had done this to him, but maybe he didn’t know Francis as well as he thought he did.

“Francis” Mike said gently as he nudged him softly. “What happened? Who did this to you?” Francis lifted his head from his arms and replied “They did.” Then began to hum and kept humming and it formed a sequence one Mike thought he’d heard before but he couldn’t quite place it, but there was something wrong about it and he felt as though he was missing something. Mike shook his head and tried to help the old man from the corner and as the old man began to get up he picked up his walking stick which lay beside him and suddenly just whacked at Mike’s head. Mike looked up at Francis as he said “Get out! You can’t kill me, none of you can, and I won’t let you.” 

As Mike walked through his own front door he heard his nineteen year old daughter begin to play her cello and such beauty came from it but it brought a sad smile to his face as he thought of how much she had also cared for Francis. As he leaned against the closed door and thought of what had just happened, the song that Francis had kept humming began to sound so much more familiar and he felt as though he could hear it now but as though it wasn’t in his mind but that he could actually hear it with his own ears.

It got dark as Mike sat on the sofa thinking about how he had not been there for Francis when he had needed Mike, these thoughts stayed with him for so long that mike almost felt as though he didn’t try hard enough and he was the one at fault. He felt as though he needed some rest to clear his mind and thought that when he’d wake up he would see things differently. Mike went to his room and lay in his bed beside his wife as she slept soundly, he held her hand stroking it and then it sank in, why the humming was so familiar to him, when he thought he’d heard it before. Mike thought it was a little different to Francis’s humming but it was almost identical to the one he had heard before when he had thought the tune sounded so much more real when he’d gotten home, because he was really hearing it.

Mike got out of bed and walked towards his daughter’s room and opened it, when he heard the sound it was because of his daughter playing it from her cello and she hadn’t just been playing it when he had gotten home, but she had been playing it every night for the past 2 weeks. As he looked around the room he saw that she wasn’t in there and neither was her cello again he looked around her room but this time carefully and saw a sheet of music. Mike walked towards it and what was written on it was the name of the song; the devil’s trill, he wasn’t a superstitious man neither did he suspect his daughter of doing anything wrong. Worried Mike began to walk out the room to find her but then he heard it again and turned towards the direction of the sound and saw that it was coming from the open window in her room and on the balcony there she was. 

As she sat there with the shadows of the night covering her she cradled her cello and began playing it. Mike felt as though something was trying to split his head open, he fell to his knees unable to stand or even form the words to call out to his daughter but even so she wouldn’t hear him from the sound of the cello as she looked out of the balcony she was blind to the pain that it was causing him. Then he heard it, three doors down, above the sound of the cello he heard the old man bellowing louder and louder then so suddenly he stopped in sync with the ending of the cello’s song.

Thursday, 21 October 2010

Unrequited

"You fell in love with someone else?! Then why did you marry HER? You could’ve stopped all of this. Why did you bring her here? Did you tell her you love her is that how you got her here I’m right aren’t I? But what good will it do you and what about her did you think about her?!"

She stopped a hand covering her mouth as she looked over her brother’s shoulder. I stood in the doorway holding a tray, as I stood tears began to form in my eyes but I looked down blinking them away, when I finally looked up meeting his gaze I plastered a smile on my face and said "I’m sorry for interrupting." putting the tray down I went to walk back out of the room. As I did this they both watched me closely but there was no expression on his face but hers was one of guilt as she began to apologise " I’m sor-" she stopped as her brother interrupted her "That’s not necessary." he spoke to his sister then he turned to me "You can leave now." I left the room with my head held high. But every second of that moment burnt into memories as I felt like my heart was ripping apart when she had spoken those words. But it was something I already knew.

I saw the way he looked at her and how his eyes saw right through me, it hurt me so much then and it still hurt. All I have are the memories of before he met her when it was just the two of us when I thought he loved me, he cared so much about me then as I did for him; but it all changed after he met her. I would never say anything against her after all it wasn’t their fault, no one ever said love was planned and she is my cousin, my best friend, and she never would have done this otherwise. I still care about her but sometimes I want to tell her how much my heart aches because of her, but I couldn’t tell her anything, not anymore, not the way I used to. 

I walked up the stairs to our bedroom leaving the door open, though I knew he wouldn’t come, not until he thought I had fallen asleep. But I never slept; I couldn’t not until I knew he was there, the heat of his back as he lay beside me. Tears started filling my eyes as I began taking my clothes off and I wept silently making no sound. After I had taken my clothes off and seeing the bruises I couldn’t stop the weeping and I just stood for a few minutes with my eyes closed. Why did I cry for him? Why was I even here? because I loved him even if he no longer loved me. I knew what I had to do so I opened my eyes and he was stood in front of me just looking, his eyes intense as he watched me. I covered myself with my hands and crossing my legs over as I stood, "Put your hands down" he said with a bleak voice. It didn’t even affect him seeing me like this, but I put my hands down anyway and reached for my bedclothes, he quickly and forcefully grabbed my arm and put his head next to my ear as he said "Sleep like this". I didn’t want to, the pain of the words I’d heard earlier echoed in my head as I tried to pull my arm away, then finally he let go.

I walked towards the bed and lay beneath the covers holding the blanket over my shoulders tightly my back turned against him. I heard him move towards the bed and saw his shadow coming closer, as soon as he reached the bed he grabbed the blanket and pulled it off the bed staring down at me as I lay curled up, I looked at him and felt embarrassed as he watched me while moving closer. I went to grab the blanket but he pushed me back on to the bed his voice so soft but deep "No I don’t think so sweetheart" in his mind I knew he didn’t see me. I moved to get off the bed from the other side and he grabbed me again pinning me to the bed "Don’t make me hurt you, because I don’t want to," he said this while tightening his grip on my wrists and pressing his legs down hard on my thighs. He had changed the man I knew would never have hurt me or treated me like this; he would have held me softly telling me how much he loved me, not this. I felt scared he wasn’t who I thought he was, I didn’t know what he would do except the burning feeling in my wrist and the pain in my thighs was not near the ache I felt in my heart. 
 
I couldn’t take the pain that he had put me through, not anymore I couldn’t hold back all the memories of before and now I started screaming and crying I couldn’t stop I couldn’t pretend anymore or hide how I felt, the ache was too much.  He was on top of me just watching shocked and I saw him realise what he was doing to me, he let my hands go. "I’m sorry" he said to me looking so hard at the tears coming from my eyes. "Just don’t cry" but I couldn’t stop because he’d hurt me and my heart was aching, I loved him so much yet how could I think of him as a stranger, why was I so scared when he looked at me? I don’t understand. But I knew that I was going to leave, that I didn’t want him anymore because there was nothing left and I felt cold. It was over, because I knew she loved him back.

Strength Of Love (prequel)

They ran as fast as they could both of them struggling to get as far away as possible, his hand holding on tightly to hers afraid to lose her again. But as they ran she began to slow down, still he wouldn’t let her go trying to take her at his own pace but she kept going slower and slower and gently as she could she let her hand fall free of his, the fear etched on her face yet she stayed. He kept running not knowing that she had stopped and that he was no longer holding her, she was glad as she took one last look at him tears spilling down her face. She began to tremble as she heard them running ever closer but she kept looking ahead and watching him go he was almost there, she silently prayed that he would make it. She knew now was the time and steeled her body as she began turning to them, seeing them so close behind her she instantly knew what was going to happen. She knew this was the only chance he had of escaping because with her there, there was nowhere to hide, they would find them the way they always did, so she decided not to run anymore because he had to live, to live a life without fear and pain, a life without her.

She thought of him and snapped her head towards them, her resolve keeping her from going back to his arms the way she always did. She tried to remember everything; the way his warmth enveloped her, his smile that lightened her heart, his kiss that was so sweet it brought tears to her eyes, she wanted to remember everything as she closed her eyes wanting to give him another chance at life, one without complications. They headed for her, coming so fast they were almost a blur, but for her? time froze, she could see the face of the stranger close to her with his face hidden behind a dark shapeless front except for his eyes and she felt no emotion just the chilled silence from behind the cover.

She saw in the strangers hand that he was holding a small blade as he got closer and closer, then she felt it, he had pierced her already burning heart, one that was already filled with hurt for leaving him. She gasped as the faceless stranger moved to her left side with his long arm forcing the blade in further, forcing out from her the torment she had felt for everything that had happened, letting the most anguished cry escape from her mouth for the pain in her heart, her chest and the sinking knowledge that she would never see him again. The boy suddenly stopped and gripped his chest covering his heart as he felt the wrench inside him and quickly turned around seeing two things she was no longer behind him, she wasn’t near him anymore, how could he have not known? The same time seeing her so far behind, her body impacting a faceless enemy but not before he had seen the blade.

He was frozen as he heard her cry, tears escaped his eyes watching her and seeing the faceless stranger pull his blade out from her chest leaving her body to slump, filling him with further hatred, yet even more suffering. He began to move forward closer to her his legs barely able to keep him up, he could see the faceless strangers coming towards him and he didn’t turn away but kept watching her slowly give way and fall onto her knees, his hand still gripping his chest he fell to his own knees, legs unable to hold him up anymore.

She turned her head so that she could see him and that when she let go she would be happy that he was the last of her thoughts and the last in her sights. But he watched her with an ache in his heart as he gripped his chest and got up once more to run towards her, the faceless strangers closing the distance between them but he didn’t turn back he just kept running faster to her and watching as her smile began to fade and then she fell. Her hair swirling around her, eyes wide, her lips parted as she whispered “I’m sorry” because she finally understood, he wouldn’t leave her not now not ever, she had made a mistake but yet she was grateful the torture was over.

He let out a yell and ran faster wanting to reach her, a masked stranger grabbed him midstride but he would not be restrained, he knew, he finally knew what she had tried to do. She knew she would die she wanted him to get to the boat and leave, he knew, but how could she not know that he would never leave her? The torment, anger, and the sadness crushed him but he didn’t care that he would die anymore he just wanted her, wanted to be by her side to be able to lay by her one last time.

He tried to get out of the faceless strangers grip but he couldn’t, though he kept shouting to her “you can’t leave, you hear me? Don’t leave me, get up now!” He knew he had lost her and he wouldn’t give her her last wish, he wouldn’t live a life without her, he refused to. “I refuse to live a life without you! Do you hear me? I refuse!” As he yelled this towards her he felt a stab in his back and knew that they had at least granted his wish, he saw all the faceless strangers leave almost without a sound, their duty was at long last fulfilled.

He tried to walk closer to her but she was so far away, his legs gave out and he fell onto his back looking up, he turned his head to the side and he could see her, she was right there. He wanted to hold her once more, though he knew he couldn’t, but still he reached his hand out towards her, his heart pounding for her, his face twisted he was almost silently sobbing begging whoever it was out there just for one last chance to be with her. He knew no matter what life, or however many chances, it would never happen she never was in his reach, she was always so far from him and even while dying they were still so far apart, so he closed his eyes and let go, let go of ever being happy, let go of hope, of passion but above all he gave up what he cherished more than anything, his love for her.